Wicked time, baby!

 So we start off in Oz. Glinda (Ariana Grande)…

Ariana Grande is really, really good in this movie, guys.

Anyway, Oz is happy about the demise of the Wicked Witch of the West. We find out from Glinda that the Wicked Witch of the West was a result of Governor Thropp (Andy Nyman)’s wife (Courtney-Mae Briggs) was having affair er… ice cream (the best kind of ice cream, really) with a salesman. We find out that the Wicked Witch of the West was the result, that the Witch received Carrie White treatment over her green skin, we get “No One Mourns the Wicked” and we get a Rose in Titanic flashback.

Elphaba Thropp (Cynthia Erivo)…

Cynthia Erivo is really, really good in this movie, guys.

…is doing the old college drop-off for her paraplegic sister (Nessarose (Marissa Bode)). Here, we get to see Shiz University and we get “Dear Old Shiz.” We then meet Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh)…

With a name like Madame Morrible, Madame Morrible must be pretty horrible (my deepest apologies, guys). 

…Shiz’s Sorcery Studies Dean, and…

This place is two steps and student endangerment away from becoming Hogwarts.

…Madame Morrible is impressed after seeing Elphaba in action. We then get “The Wizard and I” where Elphaba dreams about her future with the Wizard. Elphaba is roomies with Glinda (now Galinda), and…

1. Galinda sounds like a character that would be in a Hallmark Channel royalty movie.

2. Wouldn’t Galinda’s obsession with popularity make more sense if this movie took place in high school and not at college?

3. Galinda and Elphaba being roomies sounds like a sitcom that would be on CBS/ABC/NBC.

Anyway, we then get “What Is This Feeling?”

We find out that  Dr. Dillamond (voiced by Peter Dinklage) is one of the only remaining animal professors at Shiz and that he has been holding animal meetings in private. It turns out that animals are losing their ability to communicate, Elphaba has faith in the Wizard and we get “Something Bad.”

We then meet Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey, who is also so, so good in this movie). Fiyero is that kid who got expelled for something and we get “Dancing Through Life.” Galinda acts like a Hallmark Channel parent and she sets up Boq Woodsman (Ethan Slater) and Nessarose. 

Dance time! Galinda finds out that Elphaba vouched for her. Galinda gave Elphaba a witch’s hat as a totally sincere gesture, you guys. Anyway, people laugh at Elphaba and Galinda, probably wanting to stop a Carrie White at the prom from happening, dances with Elphaba and we get “Ozdust Duet.” We then get the obligatory She’s All That/Princess Diaries makeover scene and we get “Popular.” 

Dr. Dillamond loses his job at Shiz. Professor Nikidik is about to perform animal cruelty on a lion cub; but, Elphaba (conveniently) drugs everyone but her and Fiyero. Elphaba and Fiyero save the cub, we get some character development for Fiyero and we get “I’m Not That Girl.” 

The Wizard (Jeff Goldblum) wants to meet Elphaba; so, Elphaba and Galinda (now Glinda) go to the Emerald City and we get “One Short Day.” We then get “A Sentimental Man,” and…

Look up That Song in Every Musical That No One Likes by Sarah Smallwood Parsons. It is a hilarious spoof of songs like “A Sentimental Man.”

Anyway, Madame Morrible comes and Elphaba uses the Grimmerie spellbook. This makes some monkey guards get wings and Elphaba realizes that Madame Morrible and the Wizard are the bad guys. Elphaba takes the Grimmerie and she departs.

Glinda is all “Keep the peace” and Elphaba is all “No.” Glinda is on Elphaba’s side; but, guards stop Glinda. Elphaba gets out of Dodge. Morrible ruins Elphaba’s reputation, we briefly reunite with Fiyero and Governor Thropp’s heart cannot handle this. We defy gravity. 

Wicked is well-cast and it has some great songs. It is a bit on the long side and it does feel that way. Wicked is better when it is doing its own thing rather than being just another Hollywood Blockbuster. It is nice to have a movie musical that is not ashamed that it is a movie musical (especially in this day and age). 

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