Is Mermaids any good?

Let’s find out:

 So we start off by meeting Charlotte Flax (sounds like a protein bar) (Winona Ryder). Charlotte’s mom Rachel (Cher) relocates Charlotte and Kate (Charlotte’s sister) (Christina Ricci) each time that she (Rachel) goes through a break-up, and…

1. Rachel is The Perfect Man-ing.

2. Rachel went to the Alex Forrest School of Handling Break-ups.

Anyway, Rachel is trying to be the textbook cool mom from Mean Girls/Regina George’s mom to her kids.

Rachel stops running around with her married boss and she goes to Eastport, Massachusetts. Rachel gets a job as a secretary for an attorney. Rachel, Charlotte and Kate’s home is near a convent. Charlotte likes the idea of Catholicism even though her family is Jewish.

Charlotte has a thing for Joe Peretti (Michael Schoeffling). Rachel has a thing for Lou Landsky (Bob Hoskins). Charlotte and Joe wind up kissing and Charlotte feels guilty about it.

Charlotte does not know Sex 101; so, she thinks that God is going to make her become preggers. Naturally, she decides that her best course of action is to become a preggers teen runaway. Charlotte then crashes at a family’s house; but, Lou comes for her. Rachel is upset and a doctor gives Charlotte Sex 101.

Lou wants Rachel to marry him; but, Rachel is all “Dude! You are still married! We can’t!” Rachel then makes a pass at Joe, and…

This family is screwed up.

Anyway, Charlotte is upset because her love interest flirted with her mom (there is a sentence that I thought that I would never write on this blog) and that her mom flirted with her love interest (yet another sentence that I thought that I would never write on this blog). 

Rachel goes on a date with Lou. Charlotte has some wine, she gives some to Kate and Kate winds up drinking more than Charlotte knew. Charlotte and Kate go on a trip to see the convent. Charlotte, not knowing that Kate is intoxicated, leaves Kate to her own devices and she (Charlotte) starts to have er… ice cream with Joe. Some nuns end up having to rescue Kate.

Rachel is upset at Charlotte over Kate’s near-demise. Rachel is all “Don’t make me The Perfect Man again because I will The Perfect Man again!” Their disagreement ends with Rachel slapping Charlotte and we find out that Rachel was a young mom. Charlotte realizes that her dad will always be at the store to get milk and Rachel decides not to The Perfect Man again.

Time passes. Rachel and Lou are still a thing. Joe went away; however, he and Charlotte still keep in touch. Charlotte has a new reputation at school because, at school, someone farting is a news-worthy event. Charlotte has moved on from Catholicism to Greek mythology. Kate is moving on with her life.

We end with Rachel, Charlotte and Kate bonding.

Mermaids is an interesting coming-of-age tale and I like Winona Ryder as a performer. Some parts of it did drag for me. There are some elements that are problematic for modern times.

Charity Spotlight: Lutheran World Relief & IMA World Health 

This organization is devoted to combating poverty.

Lutheran World Relief & IMA World Health Website:

https://corusinternational.org/

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