Logan time, baby!

So we start off in 2029 and with a Logan/Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) fight. Logan inspects his battle damage.

Logan is working as a limo driver. He is looking after the senile Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart, in his most challenging performance of the series and Stewart rises to the occasion). Caliban is assisting Logan in looking after Charles.

Donald Pierce (Boyd Holbrook) wants to know when a Gabriela gets into touch with Logan. Gabriela strikes a deal with Logan for him to take her and her daughter (Laura (Dafne Keen)) to North Dakota, and…

I feel like Laura is kid sidekicks done right. She’s not dropping witty catchphrases, she is not wise beyond her years, she is not an overly cool teenager and she is not there for saccharine value. Plus, Keen is great.

Anyway, Logan is suicidal. Gabriela winds up dead in her motel room (was she staying at the Bates Motel?) and Laura covertly takes a ride with Logan.

It turns out that Laura is just what Xavier needed. Donald has people go after Laura; however, Laura comes out holding a head, and…

R-rating? What R-rating?

Laura goes on a killing spree. She escapes with Charles and Logan. Donald winds up coercing Caliban into helping.

We find out that Laura was created as part of a weapons program. However, when the don’t work with kids rule in show business started to show its head, the nurses helped the kids escape. We also find out that Logan is (technically) Laura’s dad.

Laura and Charles have a moment over Shane. There is another attack and Charles has one of his seizures. Charles’ seizure may be the only seizure that is more deadly to other people than it is to himself. Logan is able to get himself, Laura and Charles out of there. Zander Rice (Richard E. Grant) encourages Donald to think bigger.

Logan helps out Will Munson (Eriq La Salle)  and Kathryn (Elise Neal). In return, Will and Kathryn provide Logan, Charles and Laura with dinner and lodging because, between this and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Logan is (apparently) a magnet for the Martha and Jonathan Kent/Uncle Ben and Aunt May/Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru types.

We find out that Xavier offed some X-Men during one of his seizures. Xavier thinks that X-24 (who looks uncannily like Sabretooth) (Jackman) is Logan. X-24 claws Charles (that came out wrong). Logan comes back from doing farm chores with Will and they find that Will’s relatives and Charles are dead and that X-24 is abducting Laura. Will “offs” X-24 via tractor and Charles is given a burial service.

Logan comes to in an urgent care clinic. Charles and Laura make it to North Dakota, they find mutant kids and Rictor gives Logan a healing drug; but, he tells him to use it in moderation. Logan decides to rip-off Dimitri in Anastasia and not take the money that Gabriela had promised him. Logan and Laura disagree over how much of a father he should be to her because we are at that point in the story.

Logan discovers that the mutants are making a run for it and that Rice’s company and the still-alive X-24 are after them. We get a battle. Logan and X-24 fight until Laura uses Logan’s planned suicide method on X-24 (how ironic). Logan bids farewell to Laura and Logan dies.

Logan is a unique and different take on superhero movies.

Charity Spotlight: Food Bank For New York City

This organization is devoted to ending hunger.

Food Bank For New York City Website:

Home

My Ko-Fi: 

ko-fi.com/snarkymovierobot