Is X-Men Origins: Wolverine any good?

Let’s find out:

So we start off with ill Jimmy Howlett. Victor is taking care of Jimmy and Victor is the son of Thomas Logan.

An intoxicated Logan comes. He wants to talk to Jimmy’s mother and he offs Jimmy’s father. Jimmy and Victor discover that they have bone claws. Jimmy (Hugh Jackman) and Victor (Liev Schreiber) start fighting in wars.

Victor gets creepy with a Vietnamese woman. Howlett/Logan stops Victor from getting creepy. Things get intense and Logan and Victor fight against some soldiers.

Logan and Victor sign up for William Stryker (Danny Huston)’s program. The team includes Bradley (Domic Monaghan), Fred Dukes (Kevin Durand), Agent Zero (Daniel Henney), Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds, being restrained) and John Wraith (Will.i.am). Victor offs some people while the group is trying to find some metal and Logan cannot get behind this.

Time passes. Logan has a love interest (Kayla Silverfox) and we find out where Logan got the Wolverine name. Stryker visits Logan and we find out that members of the team are being offed. Logan’s idyllic Waltons existence is interrupted when Kayla succumbs to Gwen Stacy Syndrome.

Logan and Victor fight. Stryker gets Logan to agree to another program of his. Logan finds out that Stryker intends to mind wipe him, Logan escapes and some farmers help him. The male farmer is Discount Store Uncle Ben and naked Hugh Jackman seems titillating for the farmer’s wife. Anyway, Agent Zero takes out the farmers and Logan takes out Agent Zero.

Logan seeks out Fred and John for Stryker info. Fred and Logan have a junior high misunderstanding and Fred directs Logan to Remy Le Beau/Gambit. John is offed and Gambit says that he will help Logan find Stryker… as long as Logan saves some mutants from Stryker.

It turns out that Kayla did not succumb to Gwen Stacy Syndrome. Victor goes after Kayla, Logan and Victor fight and Logan decides not to kill Victor. Kayla convinces Logan of her love and she and Logan save her sister (Emma Frost) and Scott Summers.

Restrained Ryan Reynolds Deadpool fights with Logan and Victor.

Scott stumbles upon Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart). 

Stryker shoots Logan. Kayla tortures Stryker and Kayla is offed. Logan’s memory is wiped.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a pretty standard origin story. There are boring moments, there are a couple of good moments and there are a couple of unintentionally funny moments.

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