Does X-Men hold up?

Let’s find out:

 So we start off in Poland during the forties. Erik and his mom and dad are being taken into a concentration camp. Erik is taken away from his mom and dad and Erik uses his abilities.

Years pass. Rogue (Anna Paquin) is all “Canada road trip, baby!” with her boyfriend. Rogue has a negative impact on her boyfriend, Rogue’s parents get the wrong idea (that came out wrong) and Rogue leaves home.

We then go to Capitol Hill. Jean Grey (Famke Jannsen) is presenting. Jean and Senator Kelly argue about mutant registration. We then meet   Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and we reunite with Erik Lensherr (Ian McKellan). Erik has given up on humanity.

We then reunite with Rogue, who is at a bar in Canada. There is a cage match going on and Logan (Hugh Jackman) is involved. The Guy that Logan defeated heckles Logan until Logan shows his claws. The barkeep points a gun at Logsn and Logan claws his gun.

We then find out that Rogue decided to go with Logan and, because there is some sort of weird connection between them, Logan lets it slide. Sabretooth (Tyler Mane) goes after Wolverine; but, Cyclops (James Marsden) and Storm (Halle Berry) save Logan.

Sabertooth gives Erik/Magneto a Previously on X-Men update.

We then reunite with Logan, who is with Jean. Xavier (essentially) gives Logan a tour of the Xavier Institute. 

We then meet Mystique (Rebecca Romijn), who is walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice. Walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice takes Senator Kelly and Magneto turns the Senator into a mutant.

We then reunite with Logan. Xavier is going to help Logan find out who he is. Logan flirts with Jean and this upsets Cyclops because Jean and Cyclops are together.

Time passes. Rogue tries to wake Logan up from a nightmare and, in response, Logan claws her (that came out wrong). However, Rogue uses Logan’s abilities and this sends him into a coma. Bobby tries to make Rogue feel guilty over the Wolverine thing. Rogue leaves the Institute and we find out that Bobby was walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice in disguise.

Logan and Charles look for Rogue. They find her and Logan expresses the benefits of the Xavier Institute. However, Magneto intervenes.

Sabretooth and Toad (Ray Park) fend off Storm and Cyclops. Magneto and company take Rogue. Some cops try to stop Magneto; but, Magneto fends them off. Xavier won’t off Magneto.

Walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice goofs off with Cerebro. Senator Kelly visits Jean and Charles finds out what Magneto did to the Senator. The Senator goes all Wicked Witch of the West at the end of The Wizard of Oz. We discover that Magneto plans to throw Rogue under the bus/use her as a guinea pig.

Xavier winds up in a coma thanks to walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice; but, Jean is able to find Rogue. 

Battle time! Wolverine is able to fend off walking Rebecca Romijn fanservice and Storm is able to fend off Toad. The X-Men are able to stop Magneto and Logan saves Rogue.

Xavier and Logan work on finding out about Logan.

We end with Magneto being in the same position that Loki was in in The Avengers and Xavier is all “The mutants can take care of themselves.”

X-Men. It is impressive that they managed to juggle a cast this size. It is a decent first X-Men movie and, if I had to come up with a first X-Men movie, I hope that I would come up with something like this.

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This organization is devoted to helping people restore their lives.

Bowery Residents’ Committee (BRC) Website:

https://www.brc.org/

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