Does The Legend of Tarzan hold up?

Let’s find out:

 So we start off with King Leopold II of Belgium claiming the Congo Basin. King Leopold soon gets into debt (sounds like the start of a commercial that would be on TV at three in the morning); so, he sends Léon Rom (Christoph Waltz) to get diamonds. Chief Mbonga (Djimon Hounsou) offers Rom diamonds if Rom gets him Tarzan (Alexander Skarsgård).

Tarzan is also the The Rt Hon. John Clayton, Earl of Greystoke, and…

His Name is Earl of Greystoke sounds like the name of a sitcom.

Anyway, Tarzan/John is currently in Britain with Jane (Margot Robbie)- his wife. John/Tarzan’s parents passed in Africa. John/Tarzan was raised by apes.

Anyway, Leopold is all “John! You should visit Boma!” The Prime Minister and George Washington Williams (Samuel L. Jackson) are all “Leopold is financially behind.” Basically, Tarzan’s celebrity would give Britain help with the Congo, and…

Good to know that they had celebrity endorsements even back then.

But, Tarzan is all “No.”

George Washington Williams is all “That was not the real reason.” We find out that Williams suspects that there is a slavery operation going on. Tarzan has a flashback to a time when he was with Kala (his mom) and Kerchak interrupted them.

John/Tarzan, Jane and Williams go to the Congo and the Kuba village greets them. Rom and company take the villagers. Chief Muviro (Yule Masiteng)  is offed. Wasimbu is one of the ones taken. Williams helps Tarzan; but, Rom has Jane and the villagers captive on a ship. It turns out that Rom was the one who arranged Tarzan’s invite.

Tarzan and Williams are able to intercept a train that has Belgian military and in-danger Congolese on it. We then find out that Rom wants to take over the Congo. 

John/Tarzan and Williams leave Leopold evidence with the Kuba warriors. John/Tarzan has a brief fight with Akut. Jane and Wasimbu are able to leave Rom’s ship and they go into the jungle. Rom and company go after Jane and Rom’s company shoots at the apes. John/Tarzan is able to rescue some apes and Rom has Jane go to Mbonga’s tribe. We find out that Mbonga’s son offed Kala and, in retaliation, Tarzan offed Mbonga’s son. Mbonga goes after Tarzan; but, Tarzan decides not to off Mbonga and Mbonga becomes convinced about Rom. 

Rom has Jane and the diamonds go to Boma. John/Tarzan and Williams reenact the stampede scene from The Lion King and that works on Rom’s associates. The Kuba warriors save their kin. John/Tarzan saves Jane, Williams goes after Rom’s ship and Rom uses his rosary as a weapon. John does his best impression of a crocodile mating call, and…

John/Tarzan is into bestiality, apparently.

…and Rom dies via crocodile. The ship explodes and John/Tarzan goes all movie action hero on us.

Williams reveals the slavery operation. Tarzan and Jane move to Africa and they have a baby.

Sidebar/Salad bar: The dinner scene between Rom and Jane in this was like a good rip-off of the dinner scene between Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and René Belloq (Paul Freeman) in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Legend of Tarzan is a good movie and it does improve on problematic elements of the source material. It does drag in spots.

Charity Spotlight: Hispanic Scholarship Fund

This organization is devoted to helping students get into college.

Hispanic Scholarship Fund Website:

https://www.hsf.net/

My Ko-Fi: 

ko-fi.com/snarkymovierobot