Does On an Island with You hold up?

Let’s find out: 

 So we start off with a Navy lieutenant (Ricardo Montalbán) playing guitar and a woman watching him. The woman (Esther Williams) kisses the man and another woman (Cyd Charisse) kisses him. The two women fight and we discover that they are filming a movie.

Rosalind “Ros” Reynolds (Williams) is engaged to Ricardo Montez (Montalbán); however, Yvonne Toro (Charisse) has feelings for Montez.

We then meet Lieutenant Larry Kingslee (Peter Lawford), and…

I read somewhere that Lawford had a distaste for this role. He also apparently found Esther Williams too cheerful. 

Anyway, Kingslee is the Navy adviser. We then meet assistant director Buckley (a fun Jimmy Durante). 

We then get a segment from Xavier Cugat and his band. We then get the “Dog Song.”

Toro and Montez dance together. Kingslee tries to get his flirt on with Reynolds; but, Reynolds is all “Dude, I’ve seen Misery. Thanks; but, no thanks.” We then get “I Can’t Get Along Without Broadway” and “Takin’ Miss Mary to the Ball.”

Later, Montez and Reynolds swim; but, Toro and Kingslee are not happy. Time passes. Montez and Reynolds keep flirting and Kingslee is still not happy. They have a set-up for the film where Reynolds’ character becomes a stowaway on Montez’ plane. For realism, they are having Kingslee fly the plane. Kingslee uses this opportunity to kidnap Reynolds. He takes her to an island, and…

Hear me out: This would’ve worked better as a Misery-style stalker thriller. If you read the synopsis of obsessed fan kidnaps movie star, would you think that this was an MGM musical or a stalker thriller? This movie could’ve been about Reynolds’ attempts to survive/escape Kingslee. Heck, they could have made this a hybrid stalker thriller/MGM musical.

Anyway, we discover that Kingslee is obsessed with Reynolds because she kissed him one time as part of a skit during a skit at a Navy base, and…

Be careful who you kiss, Reynolds.

…and further circumstances keep them on the island. I read somewhere that Richard Thorpe (the director) and Williams did not get on. I’ve heard that Thorpe did not get on with a lot of his actors. Williams (apparently) sprained her ankle during this shoot and she finally had enough star power to dictate some decisions.

Anyway, Stockholm syndrome starts to kick in on Ross on the ole Larry situation.

We then reunite with Buckley and we get  “I’ll Do the Strut-Away (In My Cutaway).”

We then reunite with creepy stalker dude. Larry is pondering the possibility of marrying Toro. Larry dreams that he is swimming with Reynolds.

The next day, Larry sets off for a village and the Navy catches up. We get Buckley shenanigans and everyone returns home.

Stockholm syndrome has taken a nasty grip on Reynolds; so, she tries to keep Larry in the Navy. Montez is all “Reynolds! You were kidnapped! I am so mad at you! This is all your fault!” and he breaks things off.

Back to the movie-within-a-movie. Montalbán’s character has given up Navy life for a bum life. Charisse’s character gave up the island to dance (that would never work) and Montez discovers that he is feeling feelings for Toro.

A running gag throughout the film is Durante interacting with Penelope “Pineapple” (Kathryn Beaumont).

We then get  “You Gotta Start Off Each Day with a Song” and we get Esther Williams swimming because an Esther Williams movie without swimming would be like a Marvel movie without a post-credits scene.

Larry and Reynolds disagree. Larry pretends to need help, Reynolds helps him and they get together (gotta love Stockholm syndrome).

On an Island with You is a guilty pleasure for me. Some elements do not hold up and, where is my On an Island with You stalker thriller, Hollywood?

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