Does Superman III hold up?

Let’s find out: 

 So we start off by meeting embezzling computer genius Gus Gorman (Richard Pryor), and…

Pryor’s performance in this has the same problem that Jim Carrey’s did in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events: Someone made the baffling decision to film Pryor doing stand-up routines and they put it in the movie. Said stand-up is not that good.

Anyway, Ross Webster (Robert Vaughn), Vera (Annie Ross) and Lorelei (Pamela Stephenson) decide that they need Gus’ assistance. 

We then reunite with Superman/Clark Kent (Christopher Reeve). Clark has managed to convince Perry White (Jackie Cooper) that he (Clark) needs to attend his Smallville High reunion, and…

I know that high school reunions make for easy episodes of long-running TV series; but, what about in real life?

(Snarky Movie Robot’s Types of People About Their High School Reunion):

1. Those who go, reminisce and catch up (my dad and brother-in-law fall into this category).

2. The nerd who escaped.

3. The people you were neutral on during high school. Take sleep-deprived teenagers. Have them spend time in school (truly a fate worse than death for most teenagers). Make those teenagers crave gossip/drama. Add in personality differences, different home situations, immaturity, insecurity and boredom and you have a reality show.

4. The “I don’t want to pay for babysitting/gas/a plane ticket” (whatever the case may be) person.

5. The person who is not going because their ex is going to be there.

6. The person who is going because their ex is going to be there.

7. The weirdly scheduled high school reunion.

8. The “Facebook is my high school reunion and I don’t need to change out of my pajamas/underwear person.”

9. The small-town reunion. Sure, you could have a reunion; but, you’re going to be seeing everyone at church/the next town function.

10. The parent high school reunion. Your mom/dad runs into the mom/dad of one of your classmates at a restaurant/store and your mom/dad gets your classmate’s mom/dad up-to-date on what you’ve been doing with your life and your classmate’s mom/dad returns the favor.

11. The “Who cares?” guy.

Anyway, back to the review.

Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) is sent on vacation, and…

I heard that there was some behind-the-scenes drama with Margot Kidder. Plus, the powers that be said that they were running out of things to do with Lois (call it Lois Lane Syndrome/Mary Jane Watson Syndrome/Third Movie Superhero Girlfriend Syndrome).

We then reunite with Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole). Lana bores Clark with details of her life. Clark has to put up with Brad Wilson   (Gavan O’Herlihy), Lana’s ex who never left Smallville High. Clark/Supes rescues Lana’s son Ricky.

Colombia won’t do negotiations with Webster; so, Webster tries to get rid of their coffee crop; but, Supes stops this. Gus gives Supes some Kryptonite; but, the Kryptonite is screwed up and it just makes Supes evil. Supes starts trolling people. We then get the infamous drunk Superman scene, and…

This feels like something that would be in a parody/dark parody of Superman. This does not feel like it should be in a Superman movie.

Webster and Gus cause an oil spill. We then get the famous Clark Kent versus evil Superman scene, and…

This is a neat concept; but, it does not feel earned.

Anyway, Supes becomes good and Webster, Vera and Lorelei go after him with Kryptonite. Gus saves Supes. Vera becomes a cyborg and Supes destroys a computer. 

Webster, Vera and Lorelei are left at the mercy of the cops. Supes tries to get Gus a job; but, he refuses. Brad beats himself up. Clark gets Lana a job at The Daily Planet and Lois is not thrilled. Supes trolls more people.

Superman III is bad, campy and there is too much slapstick.

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