Disclaimer: This movie is based on a children’s show; but, the movie is not for kids.

Anyway, on with the review:

Is The Banana Splits Movie any good and should… should I change the name of this blog to Snorky Movie Robot for this review?

Let’s find out:

 So we start off by meeting Harley Williams (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) Harley’s mom is Beth Williams (Dani Kind). Beth’s husband is the cheating Mitch Williams (Hallmark Channel Darling Steve Lund). Harley’s brother is Not-Tobey Maguire Austin Williams (Romeo Carere). Harley loves the Banana Splits (Fleegle the dog (voiced by Eric Bauza), Bingo the gorilla (voiced by Bauza), Drooper the lion (voiced by Bauza) and Snorky the elephant) and the human Stevie (Richard White), and…

Stevie is like an R-rated version of Steve from Blue’s Clues.

Anyway, Beth, Mitch and Austin take Harley to a filming of The Banana Splits and we meet social media stars Thadd Glarady (Kiroshan Naidoo) and Poppy Glarady (the fantastic Celina Martin). We also meet Parker (Lia Sachs) and Parker’s stage dad Jonathan (Keeno Lee Hector).

Anyway, the Banana Splits almost run over Harley and Beth (surprisingly) stays after that.

We then meet mad scientist/creator of the robotic Banana Splits/Not-Michael Caine Karl  (Lionel Newton), and…

Could you picture this guy’s job interview?

Interviewer: Can you build robotic Banana Splits for us?

Karl: Sure.

Interviewer: Uh…  You won’t program the Splits to go on a killing spree if their show gets canceled, will you? 

Karl: I will.

Interviewer: Security!

-or-

Interviewer: Uh…  You won’t program the Splits to go on a killing spree if their show gets canceled, will you?

Karl: I will and, if you even think about calling Security, I will send four killer robots after you.

Interviewer (nervously): Um… you’re hired. Welcome to the network.

Karl: Thank you.

(Interviewer laughs nervously)

Anyway, Karl decides to update the Splits. While this is going on, studio head Andy Viktorson (Daniel Fox) decides to cancel the Banana Splits, the updated Splits find out and Drooper kills Stevie by shoving a lollipop down his throat, and…

Huh. I guess Stevie never did find out how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 

Shortly after that, Thadd proposes to Poppy and she accepts. This moment is ruined by Fleegle, who literally and figuratively performs the sawing-a-person-in-half magic act on Thadd, and…

This moment is like the Hanna-Barbera equivalent of the pencil trick scene from The Dark Knight.

Shortly after that, Fleegle and Drooper make producer Rebecca Rayson (Sara Canning) and Jonathan run the Sloppy Time Course, and…

1. If you’ve ever watched American Ninja Warrior and wondered how the performers are not getting injured a thousand times, this is the scene for you.

2. Sara Canning is fantastic in this scene.

This fall… you will believe that a dog and a lion are terrorizing a woman!!

All jokes aside, Canning is fantastic in this scene.

Anyway, the Splits kidnapped Harley, Zoe and Parker; however, Harley, Zoe and Parker convince Snorky to help them and Snorky helping them comes out of nowhere.

Shortly after that, a now-insane Poppy becomes the Banana Split Hooty and she murders Karl. Beth finds Fleegle and Drooper with a literal and figurative captive audience. She also finds that Fleegle and Drooper killed the children’s parents, and…

I’m sure that any parent that has been stuck watching children’s programming at some early hour in the morning can totally relate to this movie.

Anyway, Beth and Austin murder Fleegle and Drooper. Parker helps the children, we get a Snorky vs Bingo fight, Beth dumps the cheating Mitch, Poppy kills Mitch, Poppy sings the Banana Splits theme song, Fleegle comes back to life and he laughs.

The Banana Splits Movie is a curious beast. It is kind of a Child’s Play/R-rated Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory/Five Nights at Freddy’s/Westworld mash-up. I did not grow up with the Banana Splits; so, I have no personal opinions on the Splits being used for a horror movie. The movie gets off to a slow start; but, it is a fun horror movie.

Charity Spotlight: Prostate Cancer Foundation

This organization is devoted to stopping suffering from prostate cancer.

Prostate Cancer Foundation Website:

https://www.pcf.org/

My Ko-Fi:

https://ko-fi.com/snarkymovierobot