Does Tarzan hold up?
Let’s find out:
So we start off with baby Tarzan and his parents leaving an on-fire ship. This montage is set to Two Worlds. Tarzan and his parents make the jungle their new home. While this is going on, gorillas Kerchak (voiced by the fantastic Lance Henrikson) and Kala (voiced by the fantastic Glenn Close) are spending time with their own kid… until a leopard devours the kid.
Anyway, Kala finds baby Tarzan and we discover that Sabor the leopard also got to Tarzan’s parents. Sabor is still around and Kala rescues Tarzan from Sabor.
Kala presents Tarzan to Kerchak; but, Kerchak is still mourning; so, Kala cares for baby Tarzan.
Years pass and we reunite with Tarzan (now voiced by Alex Pruitt). Terk (voiced by the fun Rosie O’Donnell) wants to hang out with her friends and Terk’s friends do not like Tarzan; so, Terk dares Tarzan to get an elephant hair.
We then meet kid germaphobe elephant Tantor and his long-suffering mother. Tarzan causes a panic and Kerchak has to prevent another tragedy. Kerchak has salt in his wounds; so, he disowns Tarzan. Kala shows Tarzan that he does belong and we get Son of Man.
Years pass and we reunite with Tarzan (now voiced by the fantastic Tony Goldwyn). We also reunite with Tantor (voiced by the fun Wayne Knight). Sabor appears and Tarzan fights and kills Sabor. Kerchak appears to be developing a softness for Tarzan; however, it is interrupted by a gunshot from Clayton (voiced by Brian Blessed), and…
Guys, Clayton is a really boring villain.
Anyway, we then meet Jane (voiced by Minnie Driver). We also meet Jane’s father (Professor Porter (voiced by the fun and fantastic Nigel Hawthorne)). Jane spots a monkey, she draws the monkey, the monkey takes the drawing, Jane gets the drawing back and the monkey’s family is not happy with Jane. Tarzan saves Jane from the monkeys, he gives the monkey his drawing back and Jane is alone with Tarzan. Tarzan lays his head betwixt Jane’s breasts, and…
This is the most sexual Disney romance that I’ve ever seen.
Anyway, Tarzan realizes that Jane is a fellow human. Tarzan learns some words and Jane talks him into taking her back to her group.
We then reunite with Terk and Tantor. Terk and Tantor stumble across Jane, Professor Porter and Clayton’s base and we get Trashin’ The Camp.
Back to the Tarzan-Jane storyline.
Kerchak gets Tarzan and, at the trashed base, Jane gives a Previously on Tarzan recap to Clayton and Professor Porter. We then get Stranger Like Me, and…
This song is great.
Anyway, it is time for Clayton, Jane and Professor Porter to go home; however, Jane wants Tarzan to accompany them and Tarzan wants Jane to stay with him. Clayton offers to help Tarzan out with Jane if Tarzan takes him to see the gorillas. Tarzan asks for Terk’s help with Kerchak; so, Terk and Tantor disguise themselves and Kerchak follows them.
Tarzan and Jane see the gorillas. Tarzan has to rescue Jane, Professor Porter and Clayton from Kerchak and he winds up hurting Kerchak. Kala shows Tarzan his origins, Kala and Tarzan have a mother-son moment and Tarzan decides to go with Jane, Professor Porter and Clayton.
However, it turns out that Clayton is evil. Tarzan yells and Terk is reluctant to save him because he left her; however, Tantor talks Terk into saving Tarzan. Clayton captures Kerchak; however, Tarzan saves him, only for Clayton to kill Kerchak.
Clayton accidentally hangs himself, and…
I’ve heard that this death is controversial.
Anyway, Tarzan says goodbye to Kerchak, Jane stays with Tarzan and we get a reprise of Two Worlds.
A definite upgrade on the problematic source material, Tarzan is still a classic.
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