Is A Christmas Wedding Tail any good?

Let’s find out.

We start off by meeting Susan (Jennie Garth), a widow, and Jake (Brad Rowe), a widower.

Susan has three sons:

Ryan (Riley Thomas Stewart)

Logan (Miles Elliot)

Josh (Conrad Bluth)

and a dog, Rusty (voiced by Jay Mohr)

Jake has two daughters:

Emma (Ellee Jo Trowbridge)

Madison (Danika Yarosh)

and a dog, Cheri (voiced by Nikki Cox)

Also, Tom Arnold is in this and his comedy in this is about as pleasant as getting a root canal.

Anyway, Susan and Jake hit it off, they get engaged and Susan goes wedding dress shopping. Emma and Madison act up, and…

If I would’ve acted like this when I was four-years old, my mom would’ve punished me.

Susan and Jake then try to pick a wedding planner and we get to meet a bunch of stereotypes:

The discount store Jack Black wedding planner stereotype 

The hippie/Elvis wedding planner stereotype 

The Santa Claus wedding planner stereotype 

The country wedding planner stereotype 

The uptight Brit wedding planner stereotype 

The racist wedding planner stereotype

Susan and Jake then try to pick a band for their wedding and we hear the only satanic version of Silent Night that you will ever hear in your life.

Susan and Jake then try to pick out a wedding cake. Jake and Ryan do have a nice moment at the wedding cake bakery; however, it is ruined by dog shenanigans.

Anyway, mandatory third-act misunderstanding and mandatory resolution of third-act misunderstanding.

We then spend Christmas morning with Susan and Jake’s families, and…

All of the presents in this Christmas morning scene look like the prop guy bought out the entire toy/holiday aisle of Walmart.

Anyway, Susan and Jake get married and they (presumably) live happily ever after.

Guys, this is like a really boring version of The Room.

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